Dating a man in an open relationship
Or as Dan Savage calls it, we are “monogamish.” Even that can look really different from relationship to relationship.
But open relationships aren't so much about more sex, just different sex.
But society told me I had to be with one person at a time, with the goal of choosing one person forever. After a really great, long-term, successfully monogamous relationship ended, I was suddenly single in my late twenties and enjoying the freedom and the variety. Adam was fun and our chemistry was fantastic and rare, and though we kept it strictly physical, with those boundaries clearly defined throughout, spending time together was becoming the highlight.
I would often fall into a cycle of trying to make that work but eventually letting temptation get the best of me, and failing both parties of the relationship; especially my partner. Eventually, the inevitable conversation came up naturally about what we were, and what we could be.
When Ivy*, a 35-year-old activist, lived in New York, her relationships never seemed to work out.
She dated the way a lot of people date in the city, juggling multiple partners without any real forward movement.